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Cycle of Abuse


Real Love Doesn’t Abuse

We are a Christian Organisation providing help to women in crisis. Cithrâh offers you a way to safety, giving you time and opportunity to receive the help and support you need.

Cycle of Abuse

The Explosion

It may seem strange to start with the end result, well not where domestic abuse is concerned. The end is the beginning of a cycle of abuse, from the first incident then it goes to; Repentance and all the ways of blame shifting and promising just to lead to;

The hook of hope

where it seems that after repentance there is hope, “maybe things have changed, maybe now it will stop, maybe he/she really loves me,

Honeymoon period

It is all peace, love and calm and "anyway" the victim will say “maybe I’m at fault too”. Then after a time; The tension starts to build; The victim takes responsibility “I better keep quiet”, Always avoiding a provocation issue, changing clothes, worried how they look, how they act, how the children act, avoiding triggers and living in fear. Now that the victim knows the consequences, minding everything to avoid confrontation. This is not cowardice, this is survival and conditioning. The victim is not in control. Abuse is control and manipulation And so to the beginning and so on and so on The perpetrator is at the centre of this world, in control, always being in the right. They make it sound right, causing confusion. This is mind control, and behaviour modification. This can be shattered and changed, the victim needs to recognise that they have the power to change it and choose to do it. This is strength and courage again to decide not to live in the victim’s role anymore.

Remember

“Leaving an abusive relationship is a process not an event”, Information and support can assist and enable this process the choice is yours we can help
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